"This 'pride' I keep referring to is a deep feeling that Andrew, my son, is doing something special wiht the gifts God has given him," says author Barry Wawrzyn (right). He, his wife, Kay, and son Dan (left) surround Andrew on the day he took first vows in the novitiate in Berkley, Michigan

by Barry Wawrzyn

Two years after my son joined the Society of Jesus my family and I were headed from Chicago to Detroit for his first vows. As we traveled, many thoughts crossed my mind. Andrew, our younger son, was serious about becoming a Jesuit.

He had talked about the priesthood for a number of years, but I did not believe he truly had the calling to be a priest nor did I believe he wanted to be a priest. I thought perhaps he was trying to escape from "worldly" responsibilities, deferring making a commitment to the world of work and turning to the priesthood and the Jesuits to postpone the need to commit.

These thoughts have changed; Andrew was indeed making a commitment to something greater than joining the "workforce." He was committing to God and God's people. His life would now be one of education, service to God, and service to others.

What does it feel like to have a son commit his life to this calling? Every parent must have a unique set of thoughts, a myriad of emotions, a vast range of feelings at a time like this. Mine jumped between pride and trepidation: "How wonderful, my son a Jesuit priest." But then I had to hold myself back: "Be careful," I said to myself, "don't take too much pride in Andrew's achievements."

I could not help feeling a great deal of pride in the fact that my son was called to serve God in this special way. I felt a special closeness to God as Andrew took those first vows. To think that my son was to be a minister of the Catholic Church some day made me appreciate my faith and believe I was and could continue to be closer to God.

But there was also a certain trepidation about Andrew taking vows. I knew he was old enough and mature enough to make the decision, but was it the right decision for him? Was he going to find fulfillment in the kind of life he is choosing? Will he be able to live the vows he takes? Most important, will he be able to serve God and the Church in the way he must?

As I continued my introspection I started to be a bit selfish. Andrew will never be a husband or a father, and I will never have the pleasure of seeing and holding his children or the pleasure of knowing Andrew's wife and spending time with her and her family. These are difficult feelings to overcome.

As I reflected on my life, though, I realized the type of life I lead is not necessarily the life for one of my children. They have a right and obligation to lead their own lives and do so in a manner that allows them to be fulfilled and closer to God. If these were Andrew's choices, then as his father I was going to accept them and take pride and joy in what he chose to do. So these feelings gave way to feelings of pride in his accomplishments. This "pride" I keep referring to is a deep feeling that Andrew, my son, is doing something special with the gifts God has given him.

All these thoughts passed through my mind as my wife, Kay, and I journeyed to Detroit on a hot August Saturday. With us were Virginia, my mother, and Joe, Kay's father. Also coming from Chicago was Fr. George Rassas, pastor of St. Mary's, our parish; Andrew's Uncle Ron and Aunt Maryanne, his godparents; Matt and James, his cousins; and his brother Dan and his wife, Jennifer. It was a special gathering of many people close to Andrew and close to our family. It would be a celebration, or so we thought.

When we got to Loyola House, the novitiate in Berkley, just outside Detroit, we discovered that Andrew was down with a fever and chills -- a good dose of summer flu. How was he going to manage under these conditions? We had planned a family dinner at the Fox and Hounds, but the dinner became more a matter of concern and less a matter of celebration. I remember thinking how strange God works at times like this. Why isn't he "celebrating" with us?

Of course I knew the answer. God was indeed celebrating; he just wasn't worried about these all-too-human frailties. After that Saturday dinner and a service at the church across from Loyola House, Andrew seemed to be rallying; we all went to bed hopeful that Sunday would be the special day we had been looking forward to.

It was. Sunday, August 15, 1999, was bright and sunny. Andrew did indeed rally and was "up and taking nourishment" according to Fr. Jim Gschwend, SJ. We made our way to the chapel at the University of Detroit Jesuit High School and Academy. Andrew and his classmates took those first vows, and I had a special feeling for not only my son but for all the men taking vows on that day. I reflected on my life as a Catholic and how truly wonderful it is to have a son committing to serve God and the Church.

These first vows as a Jesuit truly are a beginning for Andrew and me. I will make the journey with him as he progresses through the many phases of Jesuit life. I will learn with him the true meaning of service to God and our fellow men and women. I will learn with him as he discovers the mysteries of our faith, and I will share with him the many ups, downs, twists, and turns of the journey. My feeling is one of confidence that Andrew has chosen the correct path for him and that his journey will be a rewarding one both for himself and me.  

Barry Wawrzyn grew up in Milwaukee and studied pharmacy and business at the University of Wisconsin. He works for Abbot Labs in the Chicago area as the director of marketing services. He and his wife, Kay, live in Lake Forest.